This review appeared in Sussex Counselling News, February 2008
I liked Sussex Counselling member Anni Townend’s new book, Assertiveness and Diversity. It reveals a much-needed new approach to how we can be as individuals in our work lives. Whilst it is primarily written for business interests, its’ remit extends beyond that to a personal perspective, groups, societal and global areas of life.
The book starts with what it means to be assertive. The ideas of positive emotion, thinking and imagining, alongside a sense of meaning and purpose define our humanness. It naturally leads to what we, as individuals, need to be fully functioning beings. These aspects are seen in today’s world as how we can be our best selves. Humans are evolving – mentally, emotionally and spiritually!
Anni addresses the ways in which we can develop. A clear sense of purpose, self belief, intuition and self recognition are the ideas put forward, illustrated with clear case studies to give clearer emphasis. For those who like tables and statistics there are plenty to read, helping to emphasise the content and draw out the bullet points.
Importantly the ideas of “how to” are explored. Skills, scenarios and training are discussed and carried further into how we use skills in developing relationships with others in an assertive way. The ultimate use is in considering how to manage conflict and in doing so provide a transformative approach to it, which implies a way of developing positive attitudes. Conversely it suggests we also have a propensity for misuse of our skills and resources.
Anni suggests that the bullying culture and leadership of some businesses can be fostered by fear, insecurity and ignorance. Initially the remedy can be a correcting cognitive one, but Anni goes beyond that. New skills produce a happier person and develop a sense of well-being. Being made to feel trusted, respected, safe and secure can make this happen. After all, as the Transactional Analysis used in the book says, we are thinking, feeling and behaving beings all in one - a holistic view.
In part III of the book there is a strong cognitive approach. Learning styles and psychological models are explored. Remember though, as humans we do fluctuate. As a balance to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which I liked, the FIRO-B tool (personality test) highlights individual needs. Positive psychology stresses the same areas.
As if to strengthen the idea of diversity, learning cycles and styles are investigated. We all learn in different ways. Appreciate your uniqueness - finding out about it in order to become your best self is enlightening. You could be an activist, a reflector, a theorist or a pragmatist.
Part IV of the book looks at how cultural differences position us. Once again, asserting your needs will empower you. It breaks down fear but suggests a change from being non-judgemental to accepting. In doing so, conflict is reduced and co-operation enhanced. The end result is a productive, assertive, trusting relationship.
In part V the book branches out into how organisations can embrace principles and suggests ways to make this happen. Leaders are addressed directly. It becomes a position of responsibility to look out for employees needs. In particular work-life balance needs are discussed.
Shared values and beliefs underpinning an organisation will manifest in their culture.
Leaders play an integral part in carrying this forward. Ultimately happiness is on the agenda. Its biggest influences are good assertive relationships embodying positive emotion and optimism. The case studies explain how different organisations have implemented their ideals. Cultivating a creative, positive, diverse working environment leads to respectful, open, honest relationships. When people can be their best selves, it places them in a Win-Win, I’m OK- You’re OK position.
We all need teaching and coaching to bring out the best in us. Constant reviews and maintenance are required for its development. I think most people would recognise the value of this in any endeavour. Self-awareness can be life changing. For those with an interest in it, keep this book to hand. It is a great resource.
Doug Ingram is a Person Centred Counsellor practising in Hove.