Anni Townend - Business Psychologist

This article originally appeared in The Guardian on 3rd August 2009 and you can read the complete article on their website.

Don't let your colleagues take advantage of your good nature – you need to stand up for your rights and be assertive. And do it now, says Giles Morris

It's nice to be nice, and natural to try and be a good colleague and team player in the hope of advancement. But the British workplace seethes with over-demanding bosses, stroppy co-workers and plain old-fashioned bullies. So if you feel like you've given enough inches and they've taken enough miles, where do you draw the line? How do you make it clear what you will and won't do without flip-flopping from human doormat to Incredible Hulk? In short, how do you learn to be assertive?

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Anni Townend, business psychologist and author of Assertiveness and Diversity, agrees on the importance of finding a balance between your needs and those of your colleagues. "Take responsibility and be clear about what you are thinking and how you are feeling," she advises. "Be curious and ask open questions of others and appreciate them for who they are and for what they have done."

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"Assertive relationships … are those in which people seek to understand each other, to acknowledge their differences, to challenge and support each other, and to be open and honest with each other," Anni Townend says. "Assertiveness is a way of life."